Andrea Hall

Dream #1

2020

In my dream of April 2020, I am walking at night in the Zona Rosa in Mexico City. I go to my family’s restaurant, La Fonda El Refugio, which opened in 1954 and recently closed. In my dream, the streets were decorated for what seems to be the restaurant’s anniversary party. There were candles and flowers. I asked who had decorated it so beautifully and they told me that it was my sister, who I did not know existed. I looked for her, and when I met her, she was very short, and I had to bend over to hug her. I cried. Her name was Norma (the name of my boyfriend’s ex-wife). In one of the rooms of the restaurant, Memo, my husband, is sitting at a table with Ana, a co-worker who, like him, died not long ago. I float above them. During dinner I realize that they have been in a relationship, and I feel betrayed and tremendously frustrated that they are not here for me to confront them.

Soon after I had that dream, I realized that the betrayal I felt came from the fact that they were both dead and in a universe that is very different from mine. The restaurant, in a certain way, is now also dead. Another thing I’m grieving for. But I am also thankful to Juan Carlos’s ex-wife, probably because by leaving him, it allowed me to be happy with someone who is alive.