Janna Zinzi

I Just Wanted to Rest

2020

My dream: I was rushing to go on a trip, but first I stopped to visit my boyfriend at his barbershop. For some reason, he kidnapped me, and I stabbed him to get away. It did nothing; he didn’t even flinch when I drove a knife into his stomach. Then he locked me up with other women and non-binary people in a white room. We couldn’t find a way out. He came back to threaten us, but his boy ran in to share that Drake just released a new album. They both got hyped and ran out, leaving us alone. We got back to plottin’, and we planned to bust down the back door and I woke up cracking up.
Toxic masculinity is exhausting. Also, gender roles are garbage. I feel like I’ve been fighting my whole life against it, IRL and online. I don’t want to fight; I want to rest especial- ly in this time of the pandemic. As a Black woman, it hurts more when it comes from Black and Brown men. During racial uprisings, Breonna Taylor’s murder, WAP, and Megan Thee Stallion getting shot, I want Black women to feel free, be seen and be cared for.